This journey that the Lord has me on these days is teaching me a lot.
It's teaching me that every single moment with each of my children, though at times difficult, is so far beyond precious that I cannot measure it on a human scale. That even in the moments of anger and frustration, my vocation is of His choosing, and that He has made me for each moment. That the more I breathe and find Him in the worst of my frustrations, the more I find Him in the calm moments. That, for Pete's sake, "lilies and sparrows, lilies and sparrows," is a great mantra, and a reminder that He clothes the beautiful flowers whose fragrance I cannot get enough of, and feeds the birds I love to watch--and that He loves me more than a rose or a robin.
I am learning to speak clearly, to give voice to my fears and anxieties, and allow My Darling to be the husband God knew I needed, even before the moment that He created me.
I am learning that my instincts and convictions as a mother are very purposeful, and that there are some who claim love and understanding who at times carry more judgement than anything.
I am learning that the steadfast and Sacred Heart of Jesus is a refuge which will not falter, even in the most violent storm, and that all I have to do is seek His refuge, and He will cover me with His Graces.
I am learning that a good confession, even when the devil would have me fret that it wasn't, goes a long way to quieting a restless heart.
I am learning that saints were human, with fears, frustrations, shortcomings and anxieties of their own, and that maybe--just maybe--I am in good company.
I am learning that I cannot judge myself by others' eyes, even my own; that God's eyes are the only ones that matter.
I am learning that I am learning.
Sometimes a day brings more storm than sunshine, and that's ok. Sunshine, without rain, will leave even the most verdant pasture parched.