Sunday, April 26, 2015

Oops. Well time has gotten the best of me once again.

Good thing it hasn't gotten too far down the road from my last post.  I'll try to do better.  I don't know that I'll ever get back to the daily post, but I'll do my best to not let it get so long between visits here again.


My Darling and I have come to a difficult spot in our marriage.  There are so many things going on in so many facets of our family life and between the two of us that it becomes more and more difficult to focus on our relationship the way we really need to in order to keep things healthy and vibrant.  There are other factors too--things that I still just cannot write about yet.  Suffice it to say our upcoming Marriage Encounter weekend is sorely needed and well-deserved.  I'm hoping with every bit of faith in me that it will help us get past this place.  It feels like we've been in the desert for a very long time.  Even the promise of an oasis would be helpful.  And Manna would be a double bonus.

I would like to give some encouragement to anyone who is suffering in their marriage.  There are some things which many would find unforgivable.  Unbearable.  Worthy of annulment.  Without showing my hand entirely, I would like to say that forgiveness is possible even in the darkest of hours.  Crosses can be borne.  And in all but a very, very few circumstances, annulment is not the answer.  Support is crucial.  Counseling is imperative.  And prayer...well, prayer is the frame upon which all must be built.  Without prayer, marriage falls as limp and silent as a shadow.

We're working our way out of the shadow.  It's been terribly difficult.  It's been painful and exhausting and has all but broken us.  The past two plus years have just been...not something I would ever wish for anyone to endure.

It's always been difficult for me to ask for prayer, and this is no different.  There are so many who suffer.  So many who bear heartache, who bury those they love, who ache with every breath.  Please know that all those are fervently in my prayers as well.  But I do ask for prayer for me and My Darling, too.  We need to persevere to get through this muck that the devil would leave us mired in.  But Psalm 40 tells me otherwise.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the desolate pit,[a]
    out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
    making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
    a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
    and put their trust in the Lord.
Happy are those who make
    the Lord their trust,
who do not turn to the proud,
    to those who go astray after false gods.
You have multiplied, O Lord my God,
    your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us;
    none can compare with you.
Were I to proclaim and tell of them,
    they would be more than can be counted.
Sacrifice and offering you do not desire,
    but you have given me an open ear.[b]
Burnt offering and sin offering
    you have not required.
Then I said, “Here I am;
    in the scroll of the book it is written of me.[c]
I delight to do your will, O my God;
    your law is within my heart.”
I have told the glad news of deliverance
    in the great congregation;
see, I have not restrained my lips,
    as you know, O Lord.
10 I have not hidden your saving help within my heart,
    I have spoken of your faithfulness and your salvation;
I have not concealed your steadfast love and your faithfulness
    from the great congregation.
11 Do not, O Lord, withhold
    your mercy from me;
let your steadfast love and your faithfulness
    keep me safe forever.
12 For evils have encompassed me
    without number;
my iniquities have overtaken me,
    until I cannot see;
they are more than the hairs of my head,
    and my heart fails me.
13 Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me;
    O Lord, make haste to help me.
14 Let all those be put to shame and confusion
    who seek to snatch away my life;
let those be turned back and brought to dishonor
    who desire my hurt.
15 Let those be appalled because of their shame
    who say to me, “Aha, Aha!”
16 But may all who seek you
    rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation
    say continually, “Great is the Lord!”
17 As for me, I am poor and needy,
    but the Lord takes thought for me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
    do not delay, O my God.