The day has come. My oldest, my Frog, is leaving home.
She is working full-time now, and is going to live with my mom. Mom needs companionship and help with things like cleaning and cooking and grocery shopping and laundry, and those are all things that the Frog is very capable of taking on...and although her house is a mere 25 minutes from here, it seems much farther.
I haven't yet processed how I'm feeling about this. I am happy for the Frog. I am optimistic for her future and for her time at my mom's. But I'm sad and wistful, too. She's my first little bird to leave the nest!!
The little ones are all anticipating with a sort of anxiety and beginning to miss her even before she's gone. We're reminding them that there will be plenty of opportunities to visit and even have sleep-overs with their big sister, who has been like a second Mama to them. I'm sure it will all be ok.
It's interesting to be in this place: my oldest leaving home, and my youngest still climbing into my lap for milkies--to have one foot taking it's first steps in one life season, and the other foot still firmly planted in the season I've been in for nearly two decades now. It's surreal and exciting and scary and affirming and suspenseful all at the same time.
My prayer is that my Frog will continue to make good choices for herself, that she will remain rooted in the Faith of her upbringing, and that our relationship will remain strong and loving. I pray that she will be happy, that she will be able to work through moments of frustration and anxiety, that she will be able to see the things of her past and remember the lessons she's learned, and draw from all of those things to grow into a confident woman who knows that she is supported and loved, and that she is worthy of that love no matter what.
The practical things are not a concern for me. I know she will be fine in all of those areas. She is a very capable, hard-working, knowledgeable young woman. It's hard for me to step back sometimes and see that for the reality that it is. My instinct is to help--that's who I am! I'm a helper! I want to see the people around me be ok, have the resources and supplies they need, and share with them where I see that they're lacking. I want to check in with people and be certain that they don't need my help. And although I know that my Frog will ask for help if she needs it, there's part of me that doesn't want to wait for her to ask...and that's not always a good thing, either.
Letting go is hard. And this is the first of many letting go moments for our family.
But it's not ever really letting go, is it? Just as parting ways isn't always saying goodbye.
I wouldn't mind your prayers in this. Pray that I would be able to know when I am needed, and to know when I am not needed, and to respect that boundary in a way that allows my Frog dignified in beginning her life as an adult.
My prayers are very much with Syria, with the suffering people in that country who are persecuted because they profess their faith in Jesus Christ, or because members of their families do. My prayers are also with the people or Nigeria who seek the faith despite the imminent danger posed to them and their families by organizations who want to see that faith snuffed out. Please join me in praying for these people.